Deja-Vu

Beberapa hari yang lalu, seorang temen SMU yang udah lama banget ga pernah kontak mendadak menyapa di MSN. Dasar manusia selalu berprasangka, pikiran pertama yang hinggap di pikiran adalah “wah, pasti ada apa-apanya nih. Ga mungkin dia cuma ngajak chat untuk sekedar tanya-tanya kabar atau haha-hihi doang”. Untungnya, saya nggak salah berprasangka kali ini karena prasangka saya terbukti ada benernya. Dia sedang punya masalah dengan X, cowoknya yang sudah dipacari sejak kelas 3 SMU. (gila, banyak juga ternyata orang yang betah pacaran lama-lama sama orang yang sama. Ga bosen apa ketemu orang itu-itu doang tiap hari? Hehehe sotoy =). Dengan sotoynya lagi, saya bilang kalo dia hebat banget bisa bertahan selama 4 tahun pacaran sama The coldest and scariest person ever, si Mr. X. Ohhh betapa salahnya kalimat ini, karena ternyata itulah akar dari semua permasalahan temen saya tercinta.

From the beginning, I told her that maybe she couldn’t get any useful suggestion from me, but I was all ears if she still wanted to tell her story. Mulailah curhat standard sesama cewek yang pernah begitu deket jaman semuanya masih indah, tapi sekarang cuma dua orang asing yang kebetulan bertemu di MSN. Well, sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger than to someone you know, rite? Masalahnya, selama 4 tahun ini dia merasa Mr. X ga pernah serius menganggap dia ceweknya. Dia nggak pernah bilang “aku sayang kamu”, selalu lupa tanggal jadian mereka, ngga pernah ngasih cokelat valentine, dsb dsb. Yah, saya bisa bilang kalo itu wajar. Cowok nggak sepeka cewek dalam mengingat-ingat hal ga penting kaya begitu (saya termasuk kategori cewek cuek yang nggak pernah inget begituan juga. Tahunya cuma bisa terima coklat valentine tanpa pernah memberi balik =D tapi saya seneng lho dikasih coklat hehehe).

So I told her for not thinking anything stupid, karena dia adalah cewek yang udah berhasil menaklukan the coldest and scariest Mr. X, yang dulu terkenal di SMA saya (yang isinya cewek semua) dengan reputasinya yang anti cewek. Jangan salah, dia sama sekali nggak kemayu (kalau kemayu dan anti cewek bisa jadi dia gay). Lalu saya ajak dia untuk mengingat-ingat poin-poin si Mr. X yang bagus, yang bikin dia jatuh hati dulu. Dia bilang, si X ini bener-bener macho dan keren. Orang yang bisa diandalkan dalam segala situasi, berjiwa kepemimpinan, pinter, atletik, sekarang udah kerja di salah satu perusahaan terkemuka di Jakarta, udah deh pokoknya menantu idaman. Saya setuju, karena si Mr x yang saya kenal dulu memang begitu orangnya. Ortu masing2 juga sudah tau dan sudah merestui hubungan mereka. Those things left me in question about what is not working? Kalau cuma masalah nggak inget hari valentine atau lupa tanggal jadian kan biasa, bukan masalah besar lah.

Dia makin bersemangat mengetik. Ternyata, si Mr X ini bukan hanya dingin dan pelit dalam berkata-kata gombal, dia juga dingin dan pelit dalam menunjukkan lewat sentuhan, ciuman, pelukan, ato gandengan tangan. Pokoknya selama 4 tahun masa pacaran mereka, Mr X nggak pernah berubah. Kalau mereka berjalan di publik, mereka jarang sekali bergandengan tangan. Mereka ciuman pipi hanya kalau akan berpisah saja. Ciuman yang lain saya nggak tahu dan nggak mau tahu hehehe. Moreover, sifat-sifat Mr X yang nyaris sempurna (macho, leadership talent, athletic, masa depan cerah, dsb) ditambah sifat dinginnya, adalah kombinasi yang mematikan. Kombinasi ini menyebabkan teman saya merasa insecure, merasa inferior, dan terjebak. Insecure karena dia tidak pernah bisa menebak apa yang ada di pikiran Mr X, inferior karena dia merasa Mr X terlalu bagus dan dia terlalu jelek, dan terjebak karena semua orang terus menerus berkata betapa beruntungnya dia. Dia merasa banyak orang yang merasa terkhianati kalau sampai dia merasa nggak puas dengan hubungan mereka yang tampaknya sangat sempurna. Dia nggak bisa membayangkan bagaimana caranya bertahan begitu terus untuk waktu yang amat sangat lama (kalau suatu hari nanti mereka married). Oh ternyata begitu.

Saya bertanya apakah dia sudah pernah mencoba mengkomunikasikan masalah ini ke Mr X; apakah dia pernah menunjukkan pada si X kalau dia haus belaian (astaga bahasanya). Pertanyaan yang salah ternyata, sodara-sodara. Karena dia tidak berani mengatakan ini. Dia sudah berusaha mengambil langkah pertama dengan menggandeng tangan, memeluk duluan, dsb, tapi tanggapannya selalu tidak memuaskan. Selalu dijawab dengan “apaan sih kamu?”, atau “manja banget sih!” atau jawaban-jawaban lain yang serupa. Untuk langsung mengkonfrontasi, dia tidak berani (bisa dibayangkan. Si Mr X ini bener-bener menyeramkan). Dia bilang “I should have known when we were still trying to know each other. I should have seen the sign because he was already like that since the beginning. I thought he would change once we were in a relationship, but apparently not.”Sebenernya dalam hari saya mulai berpikir kalo si Mr. X ini mungkin emang beneran gay. Saya simpan pikiran ini dalam hati saja karena kulit saya belum setebal badak sampai berani bilang terang-terangan. Saya menyesal karena tidak bisa memberi saran lebih jauh. So I bade her goodbye and good luck with solving her problem.

Cerita saya tampaknya sudah berakhir dan anda masih bertanya-tanya dimana Deja-Vu nya? Saya terdiam dan merasa mengalami Deja-Vu karena sekarang saya juga kebetulan dekat dengan seseorang yang sangaaat mirip dengan Mr. X, sebut saja Mr. Y (wah lama-lama mirip cerita kriminal di Detik.com, pakai inisial semua hehehe). Orang yang perfect, atletik, pinter, dari keluarga baik-baik, mapan, tapi dingin seperti es. Saya juga berpikir bahwa siakpnya akan berbeda dengan cewek yang sudah jadi pacarnya, but who the hell knows? Yang jelas saya yakin dia bukan gay =D. Persamaan kedua, saya juga tidak berani mengatakan langsung pada si Y kalau saya pengen digandeng, dipeluk, etc. Saya even ga berani mengambil langkah duluan karena rasanya si Y ini egonya mengalahkan luas samudra Pasifik;COWOK YANG HARUS MULAI DULUAN. Resiko malu tidak sebanding dengan tindakan itu. Banyak juga orang yang menghormati Mr. Y ini. Yang membedakan saya dan temen curhat saya ini hanyalah status. Saya bukan pacar Mr. Y dan saya tidak mengenal dia seperti temen saya mengenal Mr. X. Merasa senang karena ada teman senasib bukanlah poin saya.

The point is, I’m glad for knowing that I’m not the only girl who think that affection, hugs, kisses, and touch are necessary in showing the people that you like them. I’m glad for knowing that I’m not a maniac for wanting to be hugged and having my hands held. I’m glad for knowing that it’s probably okay for not brave enough to tell the people we like that we want to be hugged and having our hands held…

Why we need DORAMAS

I have always been sarcastic towards any kind of dramas. They were full of bullshit and stupidity so blatant I don't even know if I should laugh or cry. They make me sneer. Cover my eyes with blanket or any other objects I could find. Horror is not a ghastly image approaching from the dark; it was those romantic scenes in the dramas.

Then I start to question my "dignity". Is it because of those irritating plots that I hate dramas, or is it out of envy and realization that those plots would never happen in reality? Anyway, to see how it is actually, I decided to watch one. Just something not Hollywood-ish (like eastenders or the OC or the likes), definitely not Bollywood-ish or Indonesian (what with those sinetrons; are you kidding me?!). So I went for a recommended Japanese dorama that won several awards and made around a decade ago: Long Vacation.

Cosists of 10 or so episodes, this drama centered around Senna, an inspired musician, who fell in love with one of his piano students but rejected by her. As if this is not enough, he needed to share his house with his runaway roomate-bride who didn't have a place to stay. As the time goes by, they fell in love with each other sweetly that Senna asked her to go with him to NY Phillharmonic. You might think the story is cheesy from the way I described them, and I agree. However, I didn't cover my eyes this time. Nor did I sneer. The story was so sweetly uncovered and its plot was okay (still not gonna happen in reality but the possibility is not zero either).

After I'm done, I come to one conclusion: Long Vacation wasn't that bad. It gives me the feeling of wanting to fall to someone so bad I could lost all the logic and walk blindly with only my heart as a pointer (I was talking crap, sorry). But anyway, it ensure me more that my place is there, far far away in Asia and not here. Western didn't know the sweetness of shyness and all blushing thingy when you're confronted with someone you really like. I think I know, and I treasure that feeling.

Raiffeisenstratter

Raiffeisenstraat 7, 5611CH, Eindhoven, the Netherlands. An apartment in the central of Eindhoven located directly behind Pathe cinema and just a step away from the main station. The address of several non-Dutch speaker homeless employed by the biggest and the most lucrative firm in the Netherland, who by luck (or bad luck) have landed in Eindoven, where the majority of population is horse-rimmed computer IT gigs. So let me introduce you to the Raiffeisenstratter, the people whom I spent a marvellous time with.

here you go: raiffeisenstraat inhabitants 2008

Room 1: Hungarian girl
She was said to live in the room no 1 but nobody has ever seen her properly except for the brief "good morning" exchange. Such a mysterious character, noted by me and Amalia for her sharp facial features and similarly sharp boyfriend.

Room 2: Marc (the Spanish)
A Spanish who studied in France, excelled in French and Spanish. Likes to sleep alot, normally go out around 10 o'clock. Friendly, and like every Spanish, enjoy drinking and parties.

Room 3: Ben
Originally from Germany, he is the oldest in the house (literally in age and in the time he's been living in the house). He is the only person in the house who is not a student, own a fancy car, had been in Vietnam, had had a maid and a cook, and plays football. Recently he could only be seen one or two days during the week and spent the rest flying all around west Europe for work. His magic line for hitting on a girl was "spreek jij Nederland?", even when the girl was clearly a Dutch. It is advised not to sit beside him during poker plays unless you want to end up bruised by his punches when he lost. And he lost quite a lot :)

Room 4: Jordi
The first impression of him was that of a good dancer and a flamboyant gentleman. It was not so far from what he is, despite his strong denial that he is a good salsa dancer. His motto is "drink as much as you can". Could always be seen in all weekend student parties. An excellent robot programmer, and as predicted, always celebrate his achievement by another party :). Our nickname for him is Panda, caused by the black shadows that permanently accesorize his eyes.

Room 5: Shiva
Her curry is the spiciest dish during dinner in the house. Admit of being a sleep-addict, she put on an Indian music every 9 o'clock in the morning as an alarm. Unfortunately, her alarm normally works for all inhabitants except herself :). One with the best analytical chemistry skills that attract even unrelated companies such as retirement planning firm to offer her a job. A beautiful girl with long and shiny black hair and sweet smile.

Room 6: me
No comment. Obviously the most sane and sensible person in the house. Otherwise why would I be writing this blog trying to warn people about the danger lurk in Raiffeisenstraat 7?

Room 7: Marc (the Dutch)
The only Ducth-speaker person in the house (the native speaker, unlike Ben :) People would mistakenly thought he was seventeen-ish while infact he was much older than that. Curly blond hair and bright blue eyes remind you of the cherubs in Rafael's paint. However, never let him drink more than his share because he will start raising hell (or so he claimed). A creator of something resemble a molotov when he was just 14. Matthieu's best buddy for sitting in the window rim and mimicking a working mechanism of train: smoke

Room 8: Amalia
Has her birthday celebrated in the house recently. T-shirt with "sweet Lia, Raiffeisenstraat" is a prove of our affection to her. Inhabits the smallest but the tidiest room in the house. Has a (public) secret crush to her adorable French supervisor, whom I admit is indeed crushable and adorable :) A regular in Pathe, armed with the unlimited card that allows her to watch the movies with only 60cents a day.

Room 9: Bruce
His room should have "be careful, bite!" sign since he has tried every martial art courses in sport centre. From taekwondo to judo, and swimming to sauna. A good swimmer indeed. Never feel complete without having a super hot chilli paste in every dishes. His friendliness is as wide and big as his appetite :) but you must be wondering where all the food goes. Claimed to have a massive affection towards his only girlfriend: an electric guitar. An academic pursuer who wish to study until he couldn't think anymore.

Room 10: Matthieu
No one can stand his chocolate cakes, brownies, apple pie, or slagroom crackers. An amazing desert maker and thought to deserve the crown for the best cooker in the house. The best person to look for if you're short of ciggaretes :) Interested in hip-hop American style with all baggy pants and skateboard sneakers. Always look like he needs more sleep even though he's slept as long as a baby. Adapting quickly the student happy hours habit in Holland and could be found every Thursday in Tu/E bar.

Room 11: Yan Zhang
The fact that she was destined to live with half-barbarian people who consider the house as a pub down gradually to her. Gradually it is, she shows us her smiling face now and then. We still try to figure out the way to drag her out of her room and join us in this house of craze.

Room 12: Francesco
Our godfather in the house. The most social person, proven by the lunch invitation emails jumbled in our mailbox. Said to have a Russian complexion, a Greek accent, while infact he was a truly Italian. The best pasta and pizza maker in the house. Shares the love for an accoustic guitar with inhabitant room 6 (me) and 9 (Bruce). Never drink more than 3 glasses of liquor out of fear that his lever will fail him.

Room 13: Volker
Our photographer. Always create a cheery atmosphere with his arguments with Francesco. Never make appointment during the weekend because he will fly to Aachen to meet his lovely spouse. Noticeable with his "ja ja ja" phrase that could be heard anywhere and anytime. A true enterpreneur.

Room 14: Ping
A man of honour. His poker face is amazing it is hard to distinguish when he is serious and when he is joking. A big tall guy who makes all other Asians look like dwarf. Never fail to cook something amazing that requires more than 3 hours to cook. Not the youngest in the house, but looks like one.

The last but not least: basement guy
Nobody knows his name and just few inhabitants know his looks. Most will realize he lives in the basement after several months. Noticeable to have put all groceries outside his room and not inside like the other do. The only sign of his presence is the smell of Bob Marley's favourite side-dish that could be smelled from several meters radius.